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It shouldn’t be like this but I think it’s feeling recognised and appreciated and not being trashed or misunderstood. I feel proud of myself – I’m taking care of myself, I’m taking care of my career and I’m managing things well. I know more than anybody how hard this stuff is for me. There’s been a lot of anxiety and seriously feeling like I cannot do this job but then a lot of outright joy and relief that I actually did put out the album. Something I think about is: if it hadn’t been well received, it would have been the same album, and would I still have felt joy and freedom and satisfaction? I don’t know that I would, and that troubles me. I’m happy that I feel respected in a way that I wasn’t before but it also messes with your idea of yourself. (en) |
